Thursday, September 20, 2012

We didn't tell them.

Anon. I'd guess 21 years old. In the Daily Princetonian
It wasn’t until the end of my sophomore year that I finally started regarding my freshman hookups as mistakes. This was partially because I had a hard time admitting that I had messed up. For me, to regret a decision was on par with saying “I screwed up big time,” which I could barely admit to myself, let alone a peer. And the desire to seem like I already knew it all, despite never having lived on my own before, kept me from asking questions when I first got to Princeton. But even if I had, there were elements of the hookup culture I would have never been able to anticipate, let alone seek advice about. 
I was so sheltered and naive as a freshman that I can barely believe I am that same person today. And I just wish someone had told me that the reality of hooking up is monumentally different from what I was expecting. I wish someone had told me that you don’t get into a relationship by meeting someone on the Street and taking him home or that they won’t even text you the next day. I wish someone had told me that when a guy says, “Hey, I want to show you this really funny video, but it’s in my room,” he’s going to show you much more than a video. And the awkwardness that happens when your hookup flat out pretends you don’t exist the day after? No one warned me about that!
Why didn't we warn them?! I have theories. I have advice, too. I'm playing hooky from yet another PTA coffee to finish the pieces up. This just reminded me to work faster. What the women of Gen X haven't told Millenials...this is inexcusable.

5 comments:

Megs said...

Since my mom was born in 1930, every woman who cared a whit about their reputation was warned to protect her good name. So she warned me about all these things and she did it without personally experiencing it.

But somewhere between 1959 and 1980, women decided that having a good reputation wasn't important. And so many mothers didn't teach their Gen X daughters because they rejected this lesson from their parents. And now Gen X and Millenials are learning about it the hard way.

AHLondon said...

Not if I have anything to say about it they aren't.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Leslie. I can't figure out how to include link, but google William Raspberry and Love's Dying Ritual. He notes the confusion and sadness back in 2005. Maverick

AHLondon said...

Thanks for that. The alcohol consumption stands out to me. They need to numb their instincts to power through and do this stuff, but if sexual gratification is supposed to be the goal, then the alcohol is counter productive. What's that old saying about drinking, it grantith the desire but takeith away the ability or some such? I believe the technical term is whiskey dick. I don't want to think about what we women might call the female version.

qadir tapra said...

“I screwed up big time,” which I could barely admit to myself, let alone a peer. And the desire to seem like I already knew it all, despite never having lived on my own before, kept me from asking questions when I first got to Princeton. london apartments for rent