Friday, January 13, 2012

Revisiting "Who Regrets Motherhood?"

As longtime readers might note, I've changed my blogrolls.  I've got one I'd like to highlight now, Momastery (see expat and parent blogroll on right).  Her blog exploded with a post called Don't Carpe Diem, about accepting that motherhood is hard and can't be enjoyed in every single second, but is inexplicably beautiful in fleeting moments and in completion.  

Her post reminded me to reply to comments on one of my posts, Who Regrets Motherhood.   I figured out what so upsets mothers about the Daily Mail article. Don't Carpe Diem says that the motherhood climb is long and hard but that there are moments of breathtaking beauty. Jill Scott, who regrets motherhood, refuses to see those moments. She despairs over her losses so much that at the top of motherhood Mt. Everest, she refuses to look out. She's looking at her calloused hands, contemplating her frozen toes and lamenting that she could have simply climbed any old hill. 

And I do mean to compare motherhood and other things to Mt. Everest and random hills. Much of the day in and day out of motherhood can be compared to other bits of life. The constant noise and interruption is like cubical culture in a busy office. The sleep debt might be similar to Paper Chase hours or a constant state of jet lag due to a consulting job. That is, all of the bad stuff I can explain to non-mothers in terms they can understand: assorted bad days plus actual feces. But the good moments, the view from Mt. Everest, I can't explain that. There are no words. There are no comparisons. When we moms talk about those moments, we don't have to explain; we just know. 

1 comment:

KimberlyJ said...

Motherhood hasn't been easy for me, a single mom, but I never regretted it for one second. Also, the result so far is a beautiful 20yr old woman, who is in college and reaching for her goals. I love her with all my heart and am so proud to be her mom.